bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
