another moral hangover. fuck.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
