are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
