he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
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