K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
My feet surprised me
Randomize
