I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
