So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
you didnt know i had herpes?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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