There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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