i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
