youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
