we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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