I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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