I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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