why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
where does the pee come out of this thing
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
