If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
