I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
My bed smells like the plague
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
