At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
