Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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