Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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