Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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