So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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