dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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