Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
