it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
