I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize