hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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