My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
