it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
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I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
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I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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