Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I didn't notice because vodka
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
