I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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