its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
