People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
