So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
