So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
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I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
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