i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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