Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize