You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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