i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
is this the sara with the beer cane?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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