I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
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