It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
