I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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