You're so nebulous sometimes
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
where are my eyebrows?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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