We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
