You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
