I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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