I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Randomize
