Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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