Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
