Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
