You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
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I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
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We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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