My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
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She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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