eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Enjoy the penises
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
