i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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