whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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