if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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