so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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