Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
from now on my penis is your penis
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
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