no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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