just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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