who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
