If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
